She was the fire. She was burning for every single thing she has ever done, loved or touched. She was looking for love and she found it. Burning for love was the best feeling she has ever got to feel.

She was always surrounded by people, but at the same time she always was alone. She was the flower in a field surrounded by other beautiful flowers, but only she was gently touched by the wind.

You could tell she was happy from the eyes that often hid so much pain. She was a little bit of everything, but never too much or too little of anything. A beautiful mess, but everyone found something so familiar in her.

It wasn’t blood that was running through her veins. It was the life. Passion and dedication for everything she has ever cared about. She never gave up on anyone she has ever loved. Vice versa, she was always willing to give up her life for her loved ones.

You know, they say ”It’s never too late, later it just becomes unnecessary”. She slowly started giving up things that didn’t matter, stopped waiting for all the apologies she thought she should have heard. And it wasn’t too late. She just felt like things that mattered before now are unnecessary and it made her free. She let go of all things that made her upset, ever brought a single tear in her eye or were shattering her into pieces the minute that thought about something, now, unnecessary, crossed her mind.

She was judged for her decisions, for every right thing she has ever done – she was never appreciated enough. She did everything that was in her will to make things better, but in return, all she has ever been told was… she was never good enough.

When I am in a huge summer field full of flowers and wind gently touches my shoulder I imagine that it’s Her. Young, beautiful flower that was broken by the storm and will never be able to heal herself.

Tonight, I miss her so much.


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